Gabe is speaking confidently with his eyes closed, while Tycho looks at him in the background with an inquisitive look.
\nGabe: This is what I came to understand.
\nGabe: All I was doing on Twitter was blocking people. Even people I liked! It was Whack-a-Mole on an industrialized scale.
\nGabe is turning his head to talk to Tycho, with a disdained look.
\nGabe: In a moment of supreme clarity, I realized I could whack them all at once. Every mole. All of them. With one click.
\nGabe: Forever.
\nThe back of Tycho is partially visible, while Gabe looks confident.
\nTycho: Dear God. You're going to delete your Twitter?
\nGabe: I did it thirty-five minutes ago.
\nTranscription note: The layout of the strips mimicks like the dialogue one of the final scenes of the Watchmen comic, where Ozymandias reveals he executed his plan thirty-five minutes ago.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/04/11/the-devil-s-crown": "An old man is sitting.\nGabe is standing in the doorway of a traditional Japanese-style house, dressed in samurai clothes.
\nOld man: Are you here to kill me, Samurai?
\nGabe: Maybe! I don't know. I skipped all the dialogue and every cutscene.
\nGabe points to an icon over the old man's head.
\nGabe: I just came here because there's a little thing over your head.
\nGabe looks suspicious and angry.\nHe is holding a sword blade close to the scared face of the old man.
\nGabe: Should I kill you? Are you, like, a dick or something?
\nOld man: No!
\nGabe: I dunno. I should probably do it just to be safe.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/03/26/rock-star": "Gabe and Tycho are sitting on the couch. Gabe is playing a game.
\nGabe: I gotta show you what I've been doing in AC: Shadows
\n(Transcription note: AC stands for Assassin's Creed)
\nTycho: Like ninja shit?
\nGabe: Even cooler, gardening!
\nGabe shows a tree to an embarassed Tycho.
\nGabe: Check out this young elm.
\nTycho: Yeah, that's... I mean, yeah.
\nGabe is hugging mossy rocks.
\nGabe: I've got five different kinds of mossy rock!
\nTycho: Do you play the campaign ever?
\nGabe: I have to. That's how you get more rocks.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/02/05/overture": "Tycho is in the rain holding an umbrella with a sad look.
\nTycho: I saw the Fantastic Four trailer, and... I don't know. I think maybe there's something there.
\nGabe is under the rain with his hair soaked and also looks sad.
\nGabe: Don't.
\nTycho is out of focus on the edge of the panel.
\nTycho: Don't what?
\nGabe: Don't give me hope.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/02/07/kingdom-come": "Gabe and Tycho are walking through a snowed forest. Gabe looks worried.
\nGabe: Some people are mad that Kingdom Come 2: Deliverance has the gay sex in there.
\nTycho speaks confidently.
\nTycho: Yeah, I think \"some people\" doth protest too much.
\nGabe: Do they think it's gonna happen on accident?
\nTycho: They live their entire lives this way, in constant fear. They're always just a couple dialogue options away from a homoerotic tryst.
\nTycho: They're worried they're gonna order the wrong thing at Denny's and end up getting the \"Sausage Slam.\"
\nGabe smirks.
\nGabe: It happens more than you think.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/02/03/vengeance-is-mine-saith-the-lord": "Sam Altman is talking to Gabe and Tycho, who have a smug look.
\nSam: I'm in a bad way, guys. Remember when I stole everything? Like, everything human beings have ever accomplished? Without compensation or remorse?
\nSam cries.
\nSam: Well... Well... Now somebody stole all the stuff I stole and they gave it away for free!
\nClose up of Gabe licking the tears off Sam's face.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/01/03/the-mirror-d-hall": "In the computer screen, Connor Hayes, VP of Product for Generative AI, Meta, is talking to the camera with the Facebook logo behind him.
\nConnor: \"We expect these AIs to actually, over time, exist on our platforms, kind of in the same way that accounts do.
\nConnor: They'll have bios and profile pictures and be able to generate and share content powered by AI on the platform... That's where we see all of this going.\"
\nGabe is standing behind Tycho, who is sitting in front of a computer.
\nTycho: Hang on, I don't speak corporate bullshit. Can you turn on the subtitles?
\nThe subtitles read:
\n\"We've lost the young, permanently - and we're terrified of the feral Gen Alpha. But our older users, the ones who are not yet dead, won't really understand what's happening.
\nUltimately, investing advertising dollars in our platforms will be a hopeful but ultimately naive act, like flicking a coin into a wishing well.\"
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/01/08/helldiverinos": "Gabe and Tycho are out in the snow. They are making a snowman.
\nGabe: Are they really gonna start with Helldivers 2 for the movie? Why not start with \"Helldivers\"?
\nTycho: Sony already made a Helldivers movie, and it's called Starship Troopers.
\nTycho: They're making a movie based on a game that is just fan-fiction of their other movie.
\nTycho: This is the midnight era we've entered. We're eating out of the compost bin.
\nGabe: That doesn't sound great.
\nTycho: But it does sound like Sony.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/01/29/is-it-ninja-guyden-or-ninja-gayden": "Gabe and Tycho are sitting in a couch. Gabe is holding a game controller. Both have a worried look.
\nGabe: I grabbed Ninja Gaiden 2 Black and it really takes me back.
\nClose up of Tycho speaking confidently.
\nTycho: Absolutely. Back when blood and gore were the coins of the realm.
\nTycho: Ninja Gaiden is a blood-soaked extravaganza seated on a throne of discarded limbs.
\nBack to both of them, they have their heads twisted sideways and they look sad.
\nGabe: No, no.
\nGabe: Back to when game cameras sucked ass.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2021/07/12/witcher": "A hot dog street vendor approaches Gabe and Tycho. Gabe is using his phone to search something augmented-reality style.
\nHot dog vendor: You guys playing Pokemon Go? A kid just caught a squirtle around here.
\nTycho: Absolutely not. We have mature tastes. That's why we play The Witcher: Monster Slayer for men.
\nThe view opens and we see the hot dog stand. Gabe is pointing at something he sees in his phone.
\nGabe: Uh oh. We're doing you a favor, dude. You've got a Drowner here.
\nHot dog vendor: Is that like a Squirtle...?
\nGabe: No!
\nClose up on Gabe and Tycho talking in an apologetical manner.
\nGabe: Well, yeah. Kinda. A little.
\nTycho: There are some overlaps.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2021/03/29/cards": "Gabe: What do you think about this Microsoft buying Discord stuff?
\nTycho: I think that in five years, there will be exactly four companies and they will buy startups in booster packs like Magic Colon The Fucking Gathering.
\nTwo old men in suits are opening card booster packs in a park. They are likely Gabe and Tycho.
\nGabe: I've opened like ten packs and all trash. Intersia, Telosaur, Cyaphim.... a bunch of ecommerce integration shit. It's like, I already own that. What'd you get?
\nTycho: I dunno. Let's see.
\nA close up of a hand holding a trading game card. A speech bubble comes from off-panel saying \"Oh shiiiiiiiii\".
\nThe card name is \"XANQUE\". It has a single Bitcoin icon on the top-right, likely the cost to use it. It has a \"mobile crypto rideshare payments MOBA\" flavor text, and the following attributes:
\nThe card is labelled as 38/102 in a series.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2021/08/04/digimon-2": "Gabe and Tycho are talking in a park bench.
\nGabe: Nobody at home will play Digimon with me, but I set up a started deck anyway. I got my Breeding Area ready, and my Security Stack...
\nTycho: Are those Digimon things?
\nGabe: Yeah.
\nGabe is sitting alone in a table playing cards. His speech bubble from the first panel continues.
\nGabe: And then I drew my hand, and thought about what I wouldplay, but there was nobody on the other side of the table.
\nBack to the park bench.
\nTycho: That's... really, really sad.
\nGabe: I mean it's not like I set up both decks, and played against myself.
\nTycho: That would be way better.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/03/05/bordering-on-the-semi-tasteful": "An obituary for Gary Gygax.
\nBelow his name, \"1938 - 2008\" shows his year of birth and death.
\nA crying red dragon illustrates the obituary.
\nBelow the dragon, a text reads \"rolling in his grave\", decorated with a twenty-sided dice.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2022/03/16/gt7-2": "Gabe is in a low-light room, there's a flower vase on the table. He is looking nervously to one side.
\nGabe: I dunno, Luca. I feel like you roped me into your weird GT7 car sex dungeon under false pretenses.
\nGabe: I thought I was gonna be doing more, like... racing.
\nBesides the flower vase, there are salt and pepper shakers. Luca, an older man with a graying beard is talking to him.
\nLuca: Oh, but my friend. Your heart will race as I relate to you every detail of the French Hot Hatch.
\nGabe is scared looking at a chain tied to his wrist and the table.
\nGabe: Wait a second... when did you put this on me?
\nLuca is smiling.
\nLuca: Do not worry yourself about that. The steel cuff is only so you cannot escape. Ever.
\nGabe is looking ironically at Luca.
\nGabe: See, Luca, that's what makes me worry.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2022/02/23/sega-2": "Gabe is lying on a couch. Tycho is using a computer in the background.
\nTycho: What are we thinking about for a strip?
\nGabe: Mortal Kombat II is about to hit, and it's got the blood on the Genesis version, so...
\nTycho: What?
\nGabe: Oh! And I just read a preview of the 32X. It's an impressive piece of hardware. I think it's gonna give the Genesis a new lease on life.
\nTycho turns around to face Gabe and looks surprised.
\nTycho: What?
\nGabe: I forgot to mention: I don't read game news sites anymore. I only read issues of Sega Vision on the Internet Archive.
\nTycho looks sad.
\nTycho: Well, it was a good run.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2022/06/22/pluckr": "Gabe and Tycho are walking through a sea-side promenade.
\nGabe: You called Kara about a game, and you didn't call me?
\nTycho: It was a rhythm game. You have to know what is - and crucially, what is not - the beat.
\nGabe is annoyed. Tycho is dancing. There's a busker playing a guitar.
\nGabe: I don't even think \"the beat\" is real. Whatever Gloria Estefan might have said, I'm forty-four years old now - and the rhythm hasn't gotten me yet.
\nGabe: I'm just saying. It woulda gotten me by now.
\nGabe is disgusted. Tycho is holding Gabe's shoulders and smiling.
\nTycho: I don't know why you've been cursed this way, to never feel it as God strums the universe. I am one of his strings.
\nTycho: Rhythm games are just a bonus.
", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/08/23/armadeaddon-ominous-moniker": "See transcript at https://pennyarcade.fandom.com/wiki/August_21,_2006.
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